Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
