I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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