i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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