Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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