You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
