Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
