I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
