I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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