So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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