we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
