we're blogging at a bar
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
