He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
