Your tits are I can't wait for
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
