He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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