Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
organizing the empties. That sober.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
