I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
