if i can run in heels then i can drive
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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