He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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