I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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