YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
