NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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