Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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