yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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