I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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