Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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