Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
tell me about the fingering
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