I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
