it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Alive.
So much puke
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
