6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
