Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I have post one night stand depression
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
