her vagina looked like bernie madoff
is wine microwaveable?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
