Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
