Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
