This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He did a backflip because drugs
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