So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
