I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
