Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
operation harelip BJ is a go
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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