I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
