I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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