Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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