you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
