I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
