wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
