You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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