after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
