every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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