I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Who wears a wallet chain?!
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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