I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
