so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
