you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
