she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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