watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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